runawaygrrl

i have been having bursts of creativity lately but never when i'm near a computer. mostly in class or on campus. like yesterday, and tuesday, i was writing dream poems left and right but once i left campus... it was gone.

maybe i just feel my poetic persona more strongly in the place where it grew so fast. or maybe i just feel young enough to be able to write anything and believe it could come true.

maybe it's having a notebook and pen or pencil in hand like i used to, being able to arrange the words the way i want them to look on the paper... i don't know.

oh god i just realized 20 weeks is half of 40 weeks which means i am halfway through being pregnant... and you know what comes after being pregnant...

giving birth.

*gulp*

am i allowed to be slightly terrified already??

i so can't wait to find out if i'm having a boy or a girl!! i'm 20 weeks today so i make the appointment today

i'm getting excited!!

i am happy with kira. unbelievably happy. so why does it irritate me to see the pix you took of her?

cause it's not me.

that is the plain and simple truth.

cause i was demoted and that's not me.

i can't wait to see kira today. maybe that's the difference, why i'm not raging and having a fit. i am confident in myself, i know i don't need to have you validate me anymore. i know my value, i know that i am attractive (smokin' hott preggo ), i know that your opinion is not what determines my worth.

yes, your fairy irritates me, but i'm smiling because i know who i am.

i sort of died here but i have a quick update for you all.

i felt my baby move today!! it feels like something is trying to tickle me from the inside o_O weird feeling.

and i have a doc appointment next friday.

last time i went everything was good and i keep meaning to get the new sonogram pix on here and facebook and myspace...

ok i tired i go sleep now